2012

A few months ago I attended a program at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. It was entitled When Worlds Collide: the Science of Movies and the moderator was a Physics teacher named Adam Weiner. In the program he would show a scene from a movie and then we would do the math and see if it was physically possible. Afterwards we would discuss the challenges with a stunt coordinator or an effects artist, and then they would describe how the scene was actually done. The evening was a lot of fun as we trashed some movies and applauded others. But after seeing 2012, I can’t help but think how much fun we would have had with this one. It would have gotten a bigger laugh than Armageddon.

2012 has got to be one of the most ridiculous movies I’ve seen in a very long time. It had all the depth of a theme park ride. Forget all the bad science in the film; let’s talk probability. What would the probability be of having a clear road always before you? Throughout the entire movie, the land was constantly disintegrating in the rearview mirror, but never once did the road crumble in front of our hero. What are the odds of that?

The other thing that I thought was completely nonsensical is how the United States took turns falling apart, California first, then the middle of the country, saving Washington DC for last. Washington DC is a coastal locale built in a swampy area with lots of water. I’m not a geologist, but that area seems pretty unstable to me. It was nice of Mother Nature to give them time to evacuate.

This movie contained so many absurdities that I don’t even know where to begin. But if I could get past the bad science, this movie’s only saving grave is some good performances. Chiwetel Ejiofor and Thandie Newton succeeded in rising above the material. At least the actors were playing it real. They committed to a realistic, natural performance, or as realistic as possible considering the implausibility of the premises. Woody Harrelson was also amusing as a doomsday alarmists.

If I was able to turn off my brain for a little bit, I do have to admit that it was fun identifying Los Angeles landmarks and watch them be blown away. There is something psycololgically satisisfying about that. Seeing it happen and knowing it's not real, like a child knocking down blocks. Maybe that's the director Roland Emmerich's mind-set. He never grew past the love of that childhood sensation of knocking down blocks. But whatever his motives, at the price of today’s movies, I expect a little more for my money like plot or character development. So I have to say for this movie, take a pass. Go to a science museum instead.

Rating:Don't Bother Seriously?