The Tourist

Venice is one of those fascinating cities that I’ve always dreamed of visiting one day. With its canals, condolers, and reputation for beauty I have often found myself standing in front of Bellotto’s painting of the Grand Canal trying to wish myself into its canvas. I’m also a big fan of the movie Dangerous Beauty, which is set in Venice during its peak of European influence. So it is a mystery to me why I didn’t love The Tourist. I found it about as exciting as a slide show presentation.
 
I loved the Venetian setting of the film and Angelina Jolie (Changeling) is beautiful to watch, but when you compare the action in this film to other films she’s done such as Salt, Mr. & Mrs. Smith or Laura Croft:Tomb Raider, it felt like everything was in slow-motion. Now I realize that Angelina is not supposed to be a spy in this film and that Johnny Depp (Pirates of the Caribbean) is supposed to be a math teacher, but I still expected a little more suspense. When Angelina was rescuing Johnny by dragging his unpiloted speedboat behind hers in the canal, it felt like they were going 15 miles per hour. If they could dodge the bullets, their biggest hazard would be hitting a wall or the pilling of a dock. Whew! Scary!
 
When we see Johnny Depp run across the rooftops in his bare feet and pajamas, I was more concerned for the people down below who might have been hit by the broken tiles. I just didn’t buy into the danger. The villain is a British gangster, Steven Berkoff (A Clockwork Orange) who surrounds himself with Russian thugs, and then there is Paul Bettany (Legion) as the British agent who was out to unmask the elusive criminal who is attached to Angelina Jolie. No one knows what he looks like, not even her since his millions of dollars worth of plastic surgery. He has been underground for quite a while eluding both the police and the man he’s stolen from. Now he wants to re-connect with the woman he loves and Angelina’s Elise has agreed to meet up with him.

Spy movies have been elevated to new expectations by films like the Jason Bourne series. We are no longer satisfied with tuxedos and exotic locales. If you are not going to give us big stunts and nail biting action, then we need sophistication, wit and a mind-blowing plot twist. When it comes to explosive spy movies, The Tourist delivered a pop instead of a bang. I wanted to play with cherry bombs and I was handed a sparkler.  Still fun, but it didn’t meet my expectations.
 
Rating: Bargain Matinee Pretty to look at, but no spark