Beginners

We go to school, watch television, read books and believe that these things inform us. But in truth, what really shapes our personality is our parents. We grow up reading them like a novel, watching them like a movie and through their example we learn about love, relationships and how to face the world. In Beginners, Ewan McGregor plays Oliver, a 38-year-old graphic artist who is still single having walked away or sabotaged any serious relationship he’s ever had. In childhood he always felt that his parents didn’t love each other, but after his mother’s death, 45 years into marriage, his father finally admits to him that he is gay. Oliver is astonished. Everything he thought he knew about his parents was a lie.
 
Christopher Plummer portrays Hal. When Hal came out of the closet at the age of 75 he stepped out proudly waving a rainbow flag. No longer having to consider his wife’s feelings (Mary Page Keller) he exercised his new freedom by joining the social scene, becoming politically active and even finding himself a younger boyfriend (Goran Visnjic). He grabbed life with both hands and was eager to make up for lost time, but the biggest transformation came within his relationship with his son. No longer hiding his true self Hal became open, honest and more willing to share his thoughts. Oliver was finally getting to know his dad.
 
Watching his father embrace life, especially his relationship with his new boyfriend he sees a happiness that he has never seen before. It causes him to reexamine his own life and question why he has trouble holding on to love. But five years after his dad comes out, Oliver is hit with another bombshell. His dad has stage four cancer. Oliver is devastated once again. This time he is losing a friend.
 
Beginners starts with the death of Hal and Oliver is clearing out the family home. As he packs up and sorts things out he is flooded with childhood memories. His mom’s presence is still there, as well as his dad’s. Hal had made many changes after her death but parts of their life are still there. As Oliver grieves he remembers things about them both but sees them with new eyes. The experiences that formed him are no longer valid. He must reevaluate his entire life.
 
Just as Oliver enters the deepest depression of his life and the only person he can talk to is his father’s dog, an amazing woman appears. They meet at a costume party and Anna (Melanie Laurent) immediately captures his heart. Anna sees through his façade and calls him out, not for being gay; buy for being sad and melancholy. He is smitten with her but is paralyzed by uncertainty. He needs to learn how to love again. When it comes to romance, he is now a beginner.
 
This beautiful, provocative movie is very personal for writer, director Mike Mills. It is based on his own life. I loved the structure of this film and found it a wonderful way to share a story. Starting at the end and flashing back, we see the moments and memories that bring us up to date and inform us on who Oliver is and what he is going through. We are also privy to Oliver’s current thoughts by viewing his artwork or listening to his musings. Each voiceover gives us a historical perspective as well as his personal insights. By starting at the end we are also returning to the beginning. And by following a beginning we are lead to an end. It may sound confusing but it is really a special film. I was never lost and found it completely fascinating. Ewan McGregor captivated me with his sensitive portrayal and I grew even more appreciative of Melanie Laurent. Christopher Plummer is especially memorable as a man of his time who hid his nature out of cultural necessity but never played the role of victim. And Goren Visnjic will surprise you as Hal’s male lover. The nuances in his character reveal to us the pain of being gay and also being rejected by those you love. Hal took the risk and was rewarded; it is time for Oliver to take the risk now. He has a chance at love and cannot let the past define him. After all, the past was a lie.

Rating: First Run A story about parents and how they define us